Brothers,

Brother Phill Bethell passed away July 10, 2023 after just turning 75 (Born July 3, 1948). The following is a Eulogy by his closest friend and Brother Harry Oswin, Gamma Alpha

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!”
― Hunter S. Thompson

A Friendship born and bred in Rexdale

Last week, my best friend for the last 57 years passed away.

Hunter S. Thompson’s quote sums up my friend Phill Bethell’s life! He was a life enhancer. There’s so much to tell. I’ll just give you a few snippets of this guy’s terrific life and the many kindnesses he showed me.

February 1964, we’re at the height of Beatlemania and the Beatles have just appeared on Ed Sullivan. I’m over at a friends place in the townhouses on Bergamot. We’re up in his room playing Beatles music of course, when all of a sudden, there’s a tap on the second floor window. window. It’s 15 year old Phill Bethell. My friend says “Why didn’t you just come to the front door?” Phill says, “Don’t think your parents approve of my coming over so late.. This way I can come and go at will and nobody’s the wiser” and that was my first meeting with Phill.

It’s July,1966 and I’m in love. Just like the Box Tops tune “My Baby (girlfriend) wrote me a letter”, inviting me up to her parents cottage at Balm Beach. We’re in Harry’s Basement chatting about it. How am I gonna get there? Parents don’t drive you half way across the world to places like Balm Beach, I don’t have money for a bus. Looks like hitch hiking’s the plan. Phil shyly blurts out, “I’ll drive you!” And that was the start of our 57 year friendship.

October, 1967, we’re getting ready to pull a prank with pumpkins. There’s a field up by Clareview dam that filled with thousands of them. The farmer won’t miss a couple. Just then Phill arrives. He’s dressed to the nines n a rented tuxedo, having just come from his sister’s wedding. He jumps right into my ’58 VW and off we go to gather pumpkins. It’s messy work and we’re soaked with mud, including Phill who exclaims: . “Well, the wedding is over and they’ll be able to clean up this tux just fine!

June, 1968, How many people can you get into a VW Beetle. Phill wants to know. So we go down to Pine Point and gather friends and strangers to conduct our experiment. One after another, people are game. More and more folks jump in. the last is Phill. He’s in but his legs don’t make it. Still, we count him as one who made it. Turns out that a 58’ Vw Beetle will hold 16 people. We didn’t dare try to drive it with all those pranksters.

It’s 1968 and I’m driving a ’61 Chev with “three on the column Somehow, I get it stuck in reverse. I call Phill for help and he says bring it over to my place.” So I back the Chev up Rewater drive, across Kipling to Racine Rd, up Martin grove, turn left onto Mercury Rd and a quick left to Pergola. Phill is waiting sand he he jumps into the car with a huge hammer and wallops the gear shift column. Voila! Problem fixed and I’m on my way to the Moon Palace! Phil and I both worked a “the Palace” for a few years in high school. We made money and had many adventures there. I’ll tell you all about ’em some time!

At different times in the 60s, quite a few of my pals ended up staying with me in the Basement at 78 Redwater. In 1969, Phill came to me and said, I need a place to stay for a while. No need to ask for details or questions, I asked my Mom and she said sure, so Phill and I were roomies for about a year.

As the 1970s dawned, tennis was the “IT” sport for our group of friends. Everyone bought the most current clothes, and rackets. Phill and I played constantly but I just couldn’t seem to beat him, except for this one day. We’re playing, he’s winning and then for some reason he slows down a bit,. I’m catching up and then I pull ahead and thrash him. Turns out that he cracked his ankle, but he gamely kept on playing. Talk about hallow victories!

It’s 1973 and I’m getting married. Who do I want to be my Best Man? Well, that’s easy! My best friend Phill, of course. Phill throws a terrific bachelor party for me in the Basement. We have a ball and I’m presented with a couple of hundred bucks at the end of the night (2 Hundred dollars in 1973 is a lot, my friends)

Phill was a very curious guy who loved to travel. I was constantly getting post cards from all over the U.S.A., Mexico and Europe. He sent one from London that read read: “Told you I’d make it to Wimbledon before you did!!

So, we moved into adult life. I went into social work and Phill became a technical rep. for Union Carbide and then a bank manager. We kept in regular touch throughout all those years. Sharlyn and I moved out West first to Dawson Creek and then to Alberta. You’d think that would put a strain on a friendship, but you don’t get away from Phill that easily (nor do you want to!) Phill called regularly. We met up every time i was back in Ontario and our friendship only got stronger through the years.

When we moved back here in 2015, our friendship was just as it had always been. We saw each other about every month or so. The computer Age meant that we could exchange yarns, photos and stay pals, just as we’d always done.

Phill could do just about anything he set his mind to do. He was an expert sailor who was carded to sail in Toronto Harbour. He crewed on sailboats and sailed on the Mediterranean. He and Michelle bought a villa in Spain that they stayed in and then rented out. He project managed and partially built a beautiful home on the Lakeshore in Toronto.

When I had open heart surgery couple of years ago, Sharlyn sent Phill a photo of me smiling in the recovery room just to let him know i was okay, so Phill being Phill, immediately sent out this photo of a very drugged up, smiling me in the recovery room, to all of our pals. Covid be dammed, my first visitors, the day after I came home were Phill and Michelle.

They were up here in April and we were Bar-b-q-ing. Phill, who’s the least demonstrative guy that I know, hugged me and said, “Look, I don’t want t get sloppy, but our friendship means a lot to me!’ He must have known something was up. They went off to Spain and that was the last time I spoke with my pal. I got the call last Tuesday.

Don’t take your friendships for granted. Call your pal, or close relative and let them know you care. I know that when you keep friends and loved ones in your heart, they’ll always be with you.
Photos include: Phill and I at my wedding, Phill and I at the Southside Blues show last year, Phill sailing in Spain and the two of us at the old ball game.

Harry Oswin
Gamma Alpha